I am at the age where I have a daughter in college and a son heading that way in a few years. This means that my friends, acquaintances, and family members also have children heading off to college. Since my wife and I are college professors, many of our friends inquire about the details of college students, sometimes ours, sometimes their own but mostly students in general (we live in a mid-size city with a large land grant university). When these conversations get going, at some point my wife and/or I introduce FERPA (The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act). I say “introduce” because most of our friends, acquaintances, and family members, many with children attending college, are unaware of FERPA, leading to shock and dismay that such regulations exist. More than once, I’ve heard the response, “What the F is FERPA?”
As faculty members who live and breathe FERPA, we can forget that FERPA is not the air those in our social circles breathe. After all, FERPA is rarely discussed in K-12 education, partly because parents are the owners of FERPA rights at that point. However, in my experience, many parents are unaware that FERPA rights transfer to their children at the age of 18 or when the child enrolls in postsecondary education, such as college. At this point, the child/student is the “adult” or the “eligible student” and that student now controls their educational records. According to my university employer, “We believe that only a student has the right to decide whether to release their records, to in effect tell their story regarding their time with us at the University.” Students may even protect, by making confidential, their basic directory information. So, if a student has restricted his or her directory information, a faculty member’s response to inquiries about the student may be “I have no record of such an individual.”
To parents unaware of FERPA or the extent of confidentiality included in a student’s FERPA rights, its existence can be quite shocking. Many parents are trying to cope with their child transitioning to a new stage of life and FERPA can be one of those clear indicators that their relationship with their child is shifting. In many ways, the suggested reply, “I have no record of such an individual,” captures the student’s status as an adult; the “child” who left for college is gone, with no record. Honestly, my daughter is in her second year of college and I still forget about FERPA and accidentally may ask for or try to access information that is protected; in many cases, I am directed back to my daughter regarding such inquiries, as she holds FERPA rights. Even in the midst of all the changes and transitions occurring between parents and their children as they head off to college, FERPA seems to solidify and capture legally a young person’s transition to adulthood–they are a new individual.
Conflicting feelings about FERPA and the status of “adult” that it places on 18 year olds and first year college students are understandable. After all, and as many friends have shared, many parents of college students are paying some if not all of their student’s tuition, housing, etc. I completely identify with the sentiment “If I am paying for college, I should get access to my child’s grades or their class schedule.” In this sense, there is an unsettling disconnect that I can pay for my child’s college experience, and I also can have no rights at knowing about my child’s college experience outside of what he or she shares. It can be a harsh realization for parents. As a professor and parent, I live in a duality that can be helpful and confusing. For example, I am shocked when a parent reaches out to me about their child. Inquiries include questions about grades, attendance, assignments, and can even be advocating for their child, such as “How did my son get a C on that paper?” Even when politely chatting with a parent who calls or emails me (and I bring up FERPA), I am thinking about how they need to let their child be a college student/adult and handle their own attendance, grades, homework, etc. Even when sharing such happenings in general stories with friends, they are surprised and shake their heads at “some parents.” And, yet, when it is my child, I may initially consider a similar option–”I’ll just reach out to that person for my daughter.” Our perspective changes very quickly when our own kids are involved. For example, for six years, I volunteered at move-in in the Fall for new students. Helping and watching families arrive to move-in and drop off their sons and daughters was a great, and humbling, learning experience. As faculty, at times, we may lose sight of the families and histories behind our students; many are away from home for the first time and may be the first child to leave home. Watching that transition to adulthood happen at the curb of a dorm, next to the family car, can be enlightening and sad, and can also highlight why FERPA may come as a shock to parents.
Many may see the transition period of a child graduating from high school and heading off to college as furthering independence; the child (or teenager in this case) is continuing the path towards independence started in early adolescence. Leaving home for college, one could argue, represents one of the final steps in that path towards independence. (And it sure does feel like it!) However, a more productive way of viewing this stage, and FERPA helps provide an external indicator of this stage, may be through the lens of autonomy-supportive parenting. Different from independence, autonomy captures the Greek equivalents of “self-legislation” or “self-governance.” According to Dr. Emily Edlynn, “‘supporting autonomy’ means raising our children to understand their authentic selves, including developing self-respect, self-worth, behaving by values, the ability to self-govern, and feeling a sense of volition, or control over choices and actions.” While recent discussions of autonomy-supportive parenting tend to focus on the parenting of younger children, I find this approach equally useful for parents experiencing the transition of “losing” a child to college. It isn’t that we just want our 18 year olds to be independent and “on their own”; rather, we want them to govern themselves and develop themselves. This doesn’t mean we cut our college students off after we move them in and leave their campus to head back home; instead, we continue supporting their growth and their development of self.
Understanding FERPA and the rights it offers college students strikes me as supportive of this development. Parents can have conversations with their college students about FERPA, what it means and what rights it offers students (and doesn’t allow parents). Students can then make informed decisions about how they handle their FERPA rights. As I try to remind friends, your child can add you as a “FERPA designee” and can submit written permission for you to see their educational records or directory information. In this way a discussion of FERPA can facilitate and support autonomy in an 18-year-old. It strikes me that many students may appreciate the conversation and the decision-making power FERPA grants them and yet are happy to allow their parents access. Or, parents may realize that they really don’t need or want access to their child’s college education records. (One caveat related to FERPA: If a parent claims a child as a dependent, then the parent can submit a written request to the college or university for access to educational records. However, I still recommend a conversation with the student before submitting such a request.)
In the long run, the initial frustration felt and expressed by parents of college students as they discover FERPA, will be offset by the autonomy generated by discussions about FERPA with young adults and their parents. Each year, college students receive reminders about their FERPA rights; such moments can prove timely for discussions. And, further, such discussions can move the parent-child relationship not only towards independence but more importantly towards autonomy–which, perhaps, should be considered one purpose of higher education, furthering the development of students’ sense of autonomy. The payoff goes beyond gaining access to our child’s grades or attendance records; as Dr. Emily Edlynn, explains, “Not surprisingly, those who feel more autonomous have consistently been shown to also report higher self-esteem, greater self-actualization, stronger integration of their personality (key to knowing one’s true self), more positive mental health outcomes, and greater satisfaction with interpersonal relationships.”
Notes:
For more on autonomy-supportive parenting, see Emily Edlynn’s new book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children.
For more on autonomy-supportive parenting and college students/emerging adults, see “Helicopter Parenting Versus Autonomy Supportive Parenting? A Latent Class Analysis of Parenting Among Emerging Adults and Their Psychological and Relational Well-Being” (link), including the references.
For more on FERPA, see an overview from the U.S. Department of Education. I also recommend parents check out the information on FERPA at their child's college/university, usually found on the Registrar's website.
Comments